Guard The Good Deposit

Over the past year I have started to understand how truly precious the gospel is, how important it is and how high a place it should have in my life. But only in the past few weeks have I really seen how that understanding is necessary in my daily life.

Being a part of a church with brilliant expository biblical teaching every week for the first 18 years of my life has been an absolute blessing to me. I’ve been spoilt with knowledge and instruction on the bible, how to read it, how to interpret it correctly, and how to live out what it says, and although I wouldn’t have said it at the time, its probably something I very often took for granted.

Now that I am living in a different city, going to a different church, spending my time doing completely different things, it is now that I see what a blessing good bible teaching is. It isn’t that the teaching I am receiving now is bad or unbiblical or any less ‘sound’ than back home, but it is strange that here, attending a Christian music college, I feel less immersed in the gospel than I did back home in my everyday life.

Over the last 6 months God has shown me an understanding of his gospel and his grace like never before. The knowledge that I am completely free from my sin by Jesus’ blood is now for me something much more than words written on a page. It was only when God showed me that trying to earn His favour always either leads to pride or despair (pride because we think we can do it ourselves, or despair because we try and fail) that I began to understand grace. I do not have to, and ultimately cannot, earn God’s favour because He already delights in me! Because of his grace I can know his love in my life everyday and that is such a wonderful thing. However, when I first arrived in Coventry I found it so hard to find God here. It almost felt like I’d left him behind in Sheffield; everything I once understood was cloudy, the God I had once known so personally felt so distant, and the gospel that had been so clear to me seemed dim and distant.

A passage that has reached out to me so clearly these past few weeks has been 2 Timothy 1:13-14 which says:

“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you – guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”

Paul is telling Timothy to hold on tight to the gospel, to the truths of God’s word, no matter what anyone else tries to throw at him. The image of ‘holding tight’ is a helpful one for me. If we are trying to hold on to lots of things at once its easy to drop something; we should focus on one thing, holding on tight to what God has said and done for us rather than getting distracting and reaching out for other things and risk ‘dropping’ the one thing that is important.

Paul describes the gospel here as ‘the good deposit’, he recognises how valuable it really is – and he knows that it needs guarding. But the greatest thing of all is that God didn’t give us the most valuable thing in the world and simply hope we can look after it ourselves. We have the Holy Spirit to help us, and he’s not just around some of the time, he ‘lives in us’! This realisation that I don’t need to worry about losing the gospel somewhere along the way has been such a help for me here. I didn’t leave the gospel back in Sheffield when I moved here; neither did I leave the Holy Spirit. The understanding of what Jesus has done for me will be with me as long as I have the Holy Spirit, and he’s not just visiting – he lives here! Whatever I am taught, and whoever I am taught by, I know that I have the gospel to ‘keep as the pattern of sound teaching’, and that by God’s grace, through the help of the Holy Spirit I can now know my left from my right: my true from my false. The God I worshipped in Sheffield is the same God I worship here in Coventry, and He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

“Where can I go from your Spirit

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens you are there;

If I make my bed in the depths you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

If I settle on the far side of the sea,

Even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will hold me fast.”

Psalm 139:7-10

Urgent.

I've been reminded frequently over the past few weeks of the urgency that we have as Christians to spread the gospel. By spreading the gospel I don't just mean prancing around the city centre with a speakerphone telling everyone Jesus loves them. I'm talking about the fact that we have been called to tell people about what Jesus has done and called to live lives that show our understanding of what he has done.

Romans 1:16 - I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

I think so often I am just that: ashamed of the gospel. There is no other explanation for the way I shy away from telling people what I really think about Jesus, or what I really believe is going to happen when they die. I can excuse myself by saying that I don't want to scare them off, or I don't want them to get the wrong impression of Christianity, or say that I can show them Jesus' love much better in living a good life than in having a really awkward conversation. Whenever I make excuses like that I'm basically just saying that God is not powerful enough to use someone like me. I am not good enough a commincator, I don't have enough patience or knowledge and I definitely don't have the charisma to put across the gospel in a way people will understand and appeciate it for God to be able to use me.
This is utter tosh.
Gideon is the first person that comes to mind. The least of his family, who were the least in the whole nation. And God used him to win a battle. God can and will use anyone so why don't I let him use me?

Colossians 4:2-6 "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I should. Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be alwas full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone".

I really like this passage, and I have been struck many times whilst reading it about the importance of spreading the gospel. But one thing that struck me recently which I never really noticed that much before is that although he mentions our actions (v5) Paul very much puts the emphasis on using our speech and conversations as a tool for evangelism. This doesn't mean that the way we live our lives can't show people who God is as this is talked about in other places in the bible as well (see 1 Peter 1:12 for example) but I know I often put far too much emphasis on what I am doing, and less about what I am saying. In fact most of the time I never even think about actually going up to one of my friends and just talking to them about Jesus. The idea terrifies me! But we have been given a voice so that we can speak. And we have been given a message so the we can share it with others. And we have an almighty loving God who has commanded us to spread the good news so why don't we?

Prayer is one of the biggest tools that we have in evangelism, (one that I don't utilise enough) and apart from God directly answering our prayers I think that praying itself also gives us courage to speak because it reminds us that it is God's work we are doing, and who this God is.

We cannot know who will be in heaven until we get there, but this is not a reason to shy away from telling people about Jesus. If anything this should spur us on, and help us see the urgency of telling those who don't him. I used to think that maybe God might have put me in certain situations to maybe talk to maybe one or two of my friends about Jesus. But because of the human uncertainty and divine urgency of the matter I should "make the most of everyone opportunity" that God has given me. Talk to anyone that will listen, and even those who will not. Whenever I've gone out and just talked to someone about God I've never regretted it. And that itself should spur me on to tell more of my friends about Jesus, not just wait them to guess it, or figure it out on their own.

Let go.

I went on my first church visit this evening to St Toms at Philadelphia (visit www.sheffieldchurches.blogspot.com for more about the church visits) there were 4 of us that went and for me it was a really great experience. It wasn't something completely new for me as it was very similar to a church I use to attend, and reminded me very much so of the great times I have had at Spring Harvest when I was younger, an annual Christian conference which I attended every year as a child. The music was loud and everyone was so excited and enthusiastic about meeting their God, the sermon was a bit vague but the general idea about baptism was pretty sound, and witnessing 4 people get baptised was really exciting.

The church visit itself isn't really what I want to talk about though. Being there, like I said reminded me of previous 'church' experiences when I was younger and the type of thing that I use to absolutely love just 3 or 4 years ago. I was so up for dancing in the aisles, laying face down before my God and just completely physically humbling myself during the worship. I don't remember exactly how or when it happened, but I realised I'm not the same person I was 3 or 4 years ago. Part of my wants to say that I've just grown up, which I guess to an extent would be true, but in all honesty I think the faith and relationship I had with God back then is a very different one to the one I have now.

My relationship with God is now so much more intellectual than it was before, which is great, but as a result of this I've lost a lot of the emotional side of the relationship I once had. Being able to relate to God in an intellectual way is brilliant: reading his word, studying it, meditating on it, and really unpacking what every verse is speaking into my life is such a great thing to do, which I really enjoy doing and wish I had more time and motivation to do more! But in the past 3 or 4 years I've started to become almost like a Pharisee! Not in the way that I think the law is the way to get to Jesus, or that I'm ok by myself or that I don't need God's grace; I know that the law shows me how much I do need Jesus and that its only because of God's grace I can write this blog! But I think I've become too distracted in the intellectual side of things, wanting to understand God and know him better, and just increase my head knowledge, whilst neglecting my heart.

I'm so grateful that God brought me to St Tom's tonight because its really opened my eyes to this problem. Its so easy for us to get caught up too far in one side. About 3 or 4 years ago I stopped going to my previous church because I got too caught up in the emotional side of things. It wasn't anything to do with the church itself, but simply that I began to feel that my relationship with God wasn't real unless I felt it. If I finished a worship session and hadn't cried or really felt something then I just felt empty, so I know the danger of going too far that way as well. But right now I think that I just need to let go.

A few months ago, I went to a prayer room in the city centre, and I basically just cried the whole time I was there. I wasn't completely sure why, but I think it was partly that I just felt like I'd shut myself away from God who just wanted to be with me. He is our Teacher and Counsellor, but He's also our Father and Friend. Sometimes He just wants to be with us! At the end of the time I spent at the prayer room the people that were there prayed for me, there was no more than 10 people there and we were going round praying for each person individually, and they also asked God if there were words that he wanted to give me. I had a picture in my mind of a waterfall, of a peaceful, safe place where I could just be with God. There were a few different things said to me by the people saying there, one of them was that God just wants to be with me and another was a picture of a waterfall in a private peaceful place where I could meet with God personally.

Basically I think that sometimes I just get too caught up in wanting to know more, and even just wanting to tick God's boxes. But thats not what he wants. He wants a relationship with me. He, the trinity, is a relational God, he doesn't just want me to merely know who he is and what he has done, he wants a relationship. I think sometimes we just need to let go.

Whatever is pure...

I’ve been wanting to write another blog post for a while, and I have a few started ones where I was feeling suddenly inspired but then gave up half way through. I think that the problem was that part of me couldn’t settle on something that I wanted to talk about. I was recently reminded of a brilliant verse in Phillipians that pretty much sums up everything that I am currently having issues with – in my own life, and also when looking at other brothers and sisters’ lives.

In Philippians 4:8 Paul writes… (NIV version)

“whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Looking at my own life and the struggles that I’ve been going through over the past few months in particular, and then when looking at other peoples lives and wondering how best I can encourage them as my siblings in Christ, I always seem to get stuck down in what seems to be the obvious problems i.e. the getting drunk, the unhelpful relationships, the sex, the swearing, the gossiping etc. And I think that we always try and find a way of putting limits on how far we can go. As sinful, selfish humans we try and push the boundaries of what is good and right and see how much we can get away with. We try and justify it as being relevant to the world when in actual fact we are just not being salt and light and not being different.

But in this verse, Paul is looking at it from a completely different angle, and an angle that I know myself and a lot of those close to me should be looking at our actions from. Instead of ‘what can I get away with’ its ‘what good can I do’. The question we should be asking ourselves is not ‘how bad is this action?’ but ‘how good is this action?’. Is it pure? Does it reflect the truth we have in our lives as Christians? Is it noble? Right? Lovely? Admirable? In doing it are we becoming praiseworthy in God’s eyes?

Is going out and drinking with our friends a pure and noble thing to do? (Even if we aren’t getting drunk)

Is going out clubbing underage a thing that reflects God’s commands for us? (see 1 Peter 2:13-14)

I think that The Message translation of this Philippians passage demonstrates really well what our intentions should be in EVERY action that we do:

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

“You’ll do best by…” Doing this isn’t only for God’s glory (although obviously that is of great importance) but its for our own good also! By following God’s instructions and filling our minds and our lives with these things we not only honour God with our whole lives but it says here that this is what’s best for us. There are so many other passages in the bible that talk about this (such as Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8) about how God’s plans are best for us, and I think that if we all started to live our lives by the ‘what good can I do?’ principle rather than the ‘what can I get away with?’ principle we would find that our relationship with God grows stronger and we would generally spiritually be in a much sounder place.

Stressed out.

I really hate it when it gets to one of those points in life where it feels like there is just too much going on and not enough time to think about everything never mind actually get on and do something about anything. Well that's pretty much where I am right now.

I'm on these antibiotics for the infection I've got in one of the wounds from the appendicectomy I had in the summer and they just wipe me out - make me feel really depressed actually.

I'm currently applying for uni, and was hoping to send off my UCAS application form by the end of this week but thats not going to happen anymore. With the spending cuts and everything up in the air with uni fees at the moment, I really don't know whether to take a gap year which was my original plan, or whether to just go straight to uni so that I don't have to pay the higher amount of money. Also got lots of work to do which I quite frankly can't be bothered to do. I have no motivation to do anything and would rather just curl up in a little ball for a few days in the hopes that everything gets better.

But life doesn't really work like that. And I know that from past experience that curling up in a little ball and hoping it just passes on by doesn't help - it makes it worse if anything!

"God is our refuge and strength and ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." - Psalm 26:1-2

"Cast your cares on the Lord, He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall" - Psalm 55:22

"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" - Psalm 34:18

"I waited patiently for the Lord, He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock gave me a firm place to stand." - Psalm 40:1-2

The Psalms are an incredible comfort when things are difficult. Its a reminder that things are difficult, life is crap sometimes - but thats because we are living in a crap world, not because we have a crap god. God loves us. Oh how He loves us! He is gracious and compassionate. He comes down and rescues us. He is so patient with us, how much more then should we be patient with him - his timing is perfect. He knows what he is doing. And he causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him. Whatever he's doing right now is for my good. I just need to remember that and draw closer to him.

What do you value?

I was asked a few weeks ago to take an epilogue (short talk) at the kids clubs I help on how Judas misunderstood Jesus. The passage I was given was from Matthew 26:14-16 and went as follows...


Then one of the Twelve - the one called Judas Iscariot - went to the chief priests and asked, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

To begin with I had no idea where to start, but I was thinking about why was Judas willing to hand him over? And the answer I came to was that Jesus wasn't important enough. Money was much more important to him than Jesus himself.

I went on in the epilogue to ask what is the thing that is most valuable to you? What makes you tick? What's the thing that you think of first when you wake up in a morning? I've been really challenged recently to make Jesus the most important thing in my life. I'm reading Counterfeit God's by Tim Keller in my 1-2-1 which is a really good read, and very challenging (thoroughly recommend it!) and then with this epilogue remembering that everytime we make something else more important than Jesus, we are notifying the Pharisees and sending Jesus to the cross.


The thing is, it is so easy to make things more important than they should be. Money, friends, family, possessions, school work, image, abilities. Its so easy to tell yourself, or allow others to tell you that these are the things in life that are worth having, and the things that will satisfy you. But it couldn't be more untrue. We live in a society where we are never satisfied with what we have. We always want more, and when we get more we are still ungrateful and unfulfilled.

Jesus gave up so much for us.
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
What he has done for us is so incredible and it shocks me everytime I stop and realise how sinful we are. How much we reject him all the time, and how many things we make more important than Jesus. Jesus just deseves so much better from us.

...thank God for GRACE!

An extract of incredibleness from Charles Spurgeon

"The hope which is laid up for you in heaven." - Colossians 1:5

Our hope in Christ for the future is the mainspring and the mainstay of our joy here. It will animate our hearts to think often of heaven, for all that we can desire is promised there. Here we are weary and toilworn, but yonder is the land of rest where the sweat of labour shall no more bedew the worker's brow, and fatigue shall be forever banished. To those who are weary and spent, the word "rest" is full of heaven. We are always in the field of battle; we are so tempted within, and so molested by foes without, that we have little or no peace; but in heaven we shall enjoy the victory, when the banner shall be waved aloft in triumph, and the sword shall be sheathed, and we shall hear our Captain say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." We have suffered bereavement after bereavement, but we are going to the land of the immortal where graves are unknown things. Here sin is a constant grief to us, but there we shall be perfectly holy, for there shall by no means enter into that kingdom anything which defileth. Hemlock springs not up in the furrows of celestial fields. Oh! is it not joy, that you are not to be in banishment forever, that you are not to dwell eternally in this wilderness, but shall soon inherit Canaan? Nevertheless let it never be said of us, that we are dreaming about the future and forgetting the present, let the future sanctify the present to highest uses. Through the Spirit of God the hope of heaven is the most potent force for the product of virtue; it is a fountain of joyous effort, it is the corner stone of cheerful holiness. The man who has this hope in him goes about his work with vigour, for the joy of the Lord is his strength. He fights against temptation with ardour, for the hope of the next world repels the fiery darts of the adversary. He can labour without present reward, for he looks for a reward in the world to come.